It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
