lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
