I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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