He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
