so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
