My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
