Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize