don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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