I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
