@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Randomize
