I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
