did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
