I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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