happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
