Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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