how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize