is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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