I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
