By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
