he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Also, beer. Big fan.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
