Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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