there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
