I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize