He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
