i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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