Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
