You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
