come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
barbara walters just said penis...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
