on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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