4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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