Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
