party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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