terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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