The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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