dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Randomize
