Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
