We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
