She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
