we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize