i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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