OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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