too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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