Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
