I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
