Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Randomize
