I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
