The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
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