apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
