Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
