I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
