i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize