I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize