you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize