I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
