i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You don't make any sense
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