your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
