Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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