Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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