I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
