I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize