awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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