FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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