we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
